Even the most loving and faithful couples over time are faced with a cooling of passion, a decrease in desire and an important question arises: how to diversify sex? After all, it’s not that feelings become weaker, but simply monotony and routine reduce passion.
Where to begin?
The very first advice for couples who have felt the monotony in their intimate life is to try to look at their loved one as if from the outside. When you see your spouse every day, spend a lot of time with him, you begin to think that you know almost everything about him.
In fact, it is impossible to know a person to the smallest detail, to get into his head, much remains inaccessible even for spouses. This applies to sex too. Everyone has fantasies, secret desires that he can keep silent about. The easiest and most accessible way is a usual confidential conversation on the following topics:
- How a spouse sees a sexually diverse life.
- What she / he would like to experience and try.
- What positions do your partner like, what new affection you would like to experience.
This conversation is best done on a romantic, calm evening. A good dinner with candles and a glass of wine can liberate even a modest, inhibited person.
If the couple came to an agreement during a confidential conversation, then you can try together to come up with some ways to revive intimacy. Sometimes it can be useful to have a surprise that brings in the effect of surprise. It’s worth trying to do things together.
Together to choose a new intimate accessory, for example. Or watch an erotic film together. Such time spent together can reveal new facets of a partner that were not previously known.
By the reaction to the choice of a toy or to the plot of the film, one can understand what preferences a spouse has in order to diversify sex. This will greatly facilitate all further actions, give new ideas on how to make intimate life brighter and more intense.
How to diversify sex for a married couple
Husbands looking to add variety and fire to their sex life with their spouse can try the following methods.
Change the environment
Sex becomes commonplace when it happens in the same place from year to year. It is worth exchanging a marriage bed for a hotel room, nature, train compartment, bathroom, etc. Such entertainment with a wife can give the feeling that intimacy is happening for the first time.
Change your usual appearance, style or behavior. A big surprise for his wife will be the transformation of a serious office worker into a brutal biker who can conquer any beauty.
Toys for adults
The range of such things is great. You can choose any device that both spouses will like. Toys can add extra sensations and make intimacy extraordinary.
Sometimes for the experiment, you can use some household items. Still, quality toys from a good intimate store can significantly improve the quality of your sex life.
The main thing is not to skimp on their quality, so as not to harm yourself or your loved one. It will be interesting to jointly engage in the selection of accessories. So you can discuss in advance which options are possible and which are prohibited. This will help you get to know your partner and his preferences better.
Attempt to abstain
This method seems strange enough. But often satiety comes from the constant sexual availability of the spouse. It is not for nothing that sexologists advise sleeping separately, preferably even in different rooms, and visiting each other when a strong desire arises.
This is explained by the fact that the pheromones produced permeate the bed, dull sensuality due to addiction to them. When spouses spend time (sleep) separately, the receptors begin to perceive pheromones with renewed vigor.
There are many facts in favor of this theory. A spouse, one of whom has regular business trips, long absences from the bosom of the family, lasts longer in a relationship. Or if one of the spouses is forced to live with their parents (for example, due to the state of their health) and meet with their half from time to time, as if to go on a date with his wife.
Guest marriages in our time, when spouses have their own work, personal hobbies and finances, no longer seem absurd. Guest marriage is when the spouses each live on their own living space and go to each other as if on a date, staying overnight not every night.
They lead the way of life that is convenient for them, without adjusting to their partner in everyday matters. They arrange their apartment as they like, cook and eat what they want, and not what the man prefers. Perhaps one of them is an owl, the other is a lark and they have different biorhythms. One is neat, the other does not like to keep order at all.
One has a cat, a dog in the house, the other does not like animals in the house. They meet and make love here and there, go on vacation together, visit, have fun. In such marriages, passion is always at its best.
In addition, the spouses avoid domestic quarrels, scandals and they always have a good mood, strong nerves, which especially warms up mutual attraction.
Everyone has sexual fantasies. In their dreams, people play hundreds of different roles. You can borrow one of them to use in real life. For example, a modest student with a strict teacher. Or a police officer with a criminal. Role-playing can help you see your spouse differently.
Erotic forfeits. You can create such a game yourself or buy it in the store. The point is to take out random pieces of paper with sexual assignments and do them in turn. This play can unleash sexual potential, break up constraints, and lead to experimentation.
What was done to the wife to diversify sex with her husband
If a wife sees that her husband is beginning to lose interest in having sex with her, it is necessary to urgently take action and add fire to sex. The options are:
There is a controversial but fairly widespread theory that all men are polygamous and want to hunt many different women. Any girl can give her lover such a chance. A new style, a new hairstyle or even a wig, unexpected makeup – this will create a feeling of novelty. To fully fit into the image, you can change the manners or add a small accent to the speech.
A change of scenery
To make sex with your husband more interesting, you need to get out of the bedroom and go somewhere else for sexual sensations. To the park, to the forest, away from prying eyes or to visit friends in another city, country, in a sanatorium.
Water enhances the sensation of intimacy. So, a good option (if the couple has not done this before) is a joint bath with candles and foam. She will give a feeling of weightlessness, lightness of what is happening.
Sex shops sell special cosmetics that make the water look like a gel, which increases glide and gives an unusual tactile sensation.
You can surprise your spouse by joining him while he takes a shower. A T-shirt or his T-shirt on a naked body will become a piquant highlight – when wet it will accentuate breasts and nipples.
Involvement of third parties
If the woman is confident enough in her attractiveness, you can try threesome sex or call a stripper at home. Who will be the third in bed, whether the spouse likes striptease, it is better to discuss these points in advance.
There is a stereotype that men dream of having two women at once. This is not always the case, many do not accept strangers in bed and even just in the house.
With the development of internet technology, there is a new opportunity to whip up passion through erotic correspondence and candid photographs. If you please your spouse with spicy photos or intimate messages in the middle of the working day, he will look forward to meeting in the evening.
If you meet your loved one from work in an unexpected sexy suit, you get a great surprise. The choice of costumes for such a game is great.
In adult stores, you can find different options for a sexy nurse, kitties, passionate mistress, wise geisha. The choice depends on the sexual preference of the spouse.
You should not be silent during sex, indulging in it in silence with a concentrated expression on your face. If, during intimacy, you have spicy conversations, comment on actions, describe feelings and desires, the difference will be noticeable.
There is no need to be shy in expressions, even dirty phrases at such moments do not look vulgar, but on the contrary, they can excite. Lecherous conversations are appropriate both before and during sex.
We must not forget about the appearance
Many men convince their wife that they do not pay attention to the lack of epilation or what kind of underwear she is wearing, whether her head is washed, whether she uses perfume. Perhaps at the beginning of a relationship, when passion is burning, such little things really can be overlooked.
But when a spouse neglects appearance for years, while not getting younger and losing attractiveness over the years more and more, it starts to catch the eye. Over time, such disadvantages begin to overshadow the merits.
You need to take care of yourself at any age and condition. Pregnancy, childcare, retirement, or telecommuting are not a reason to give up grooming.
It is necessary to wear beautiful underwear, attractive home clothes, home shoes with small heels, and use perfume pleasant for the husband (this is important if the aromas are suffocating, nothing good will come of it). A sexy wife will not bore her husband.
There are many ways to regain attraction. Either method is good if both spouses agree to such experiments. When one of them is against, you should not insist, force, bring as a surprise.
So not everyone will like the idea of threesome sex. Or a joint exit into society, when a spouse, in order to tickle the nerves of her husband, deliberately wears clothes that are too “naked”, attracting everyone’s attention.
This may not excite, but cause shame for your woman, whom you almost point a finger at. In a sex shop, you do not need to insist on anal toys if the other half does not accept it. The main thing in impromptu is to be on the same wavelength and not to impose your vision of passionate intimacy.