Aggression can be compared to an explosion: a person can “rush” in a conversation with a loved one, at work, accidentally or intentionally. But after the explosion, we often meet with unpleasant consequences.
How to Learn to Manage Aggression to Avoid Destruction?
To begin with, aggression is one of the basic manifestations of human (and not only) nature. Without aggression, life is impossible: after all, without it, one cannot defend one’s borders, one cannot defend oneself and one’s point of view.
How to distinguish destructive aggression from healthy?
- aims to develop
- helps to get satisfaction from life
- helps to survive
A person who controls healthy aggression is open, initiative, creative and attractive. He fearlessly defends his boundaries and his opinions in environmentally friendly interactions with others.
But at what point does healthy aggression turn into its evil counterpart?
Physical and open aggression is defined simply – it is accompanied by a violation of generally accepted rules of behavior or even the law. When a person is attacked on the street, when he is robbed, beaten, it is she. However, psychological aggression is no less terrible.
Psychological aggression seems innocent – not everyone can recognize this type. The aggressor explicitly or covertly lets us know that our vision of reality is wrong, that our feelings are failing us. As a result, we begin to doubt ourselves and our own adequacy.
How Does Psychological Aggression Manifest?
- Provocations: for example, through guilt, which we have already talked about before, or jealousy
- Devaluation: the other person thinks that your problems are not as important as you describe them
- Imposition: “I want the best”
- Distortion of information: “You misunderstood everything”, “It seemed to you”.
- Accusations and threats: “You yourself are to blame”
- Toxic criticism: “This is all because of your stupidity.”
These phrases do not cause bruising and are often spoken without witnesses, but leave people with severe injuries. Destructive aggression is rivalry, manipulation, hostility, control and denial of the value of a partner.
Healthy aggression calls for partnership, equality, trust and recognition of the value of a partner.