Relationship anxiety gets in the way of you and your partner. Because of
it, you analyze everything that is said, constantly worry about what you did
something wrong, even cancel meetings at the last moment.
How to keep anxiety under control at the beginning of a relationship and during its development?
1. Recognize and get used to insecurity
Intimacy between partners means that you must open up, show all sides of
your personality and even introduce you to your “cockroaches in the
head.” Open up gradually, do not immediately reveal all the complexities
of your character. But you need to understand the main thing, if a partner
loves and appreciates you, he will accept you like that.
2. State your expectations for the relationship
If this is not done, you may be overcome by gloomy disturbing thoughts every time your partner was unable to pick up the phone. Of course, it’s worth finding out how he’s doing. But immediately inventing on the topic that you are tired of him is very harmful to your relationship. The brains of anxious people get hung up on the worst thoughts. However, if you explain your intentions from the very beginning, this will remove some of the anxiety and uncertainty. “She knows my intentions and won’t ignore my calls without an important reason.”
3. Talk about your anxiety
Sometimes when we try to hide anxiety from others, it starts to build
up. Tell your partner about your anxiety, and you will no longer have to hide
it, which will save you unnecessary stress. A partner who is interested in you
will not only accept you, but also help you cope with this disorder.
4. Anxiety vs Inner Voice
Treat anxious thoughts as delusional conspiracy theories about yourself.
And don’t let negative thoughts ruin your relationship. Listen to your inner
voice.
For example: anxiety says “If I open up to her and tell her about anxiety,
she will think I’m weird and break up with me.” And your inner voice
should answer, “I deserve a person who will accept me completely. If she
doesn’t, then one day I will find such a partner when I am ready.” Agree, the
voice of reason sounds much better?
5. Stop controlling your partner
To give up the desire to control the actions and interests of a partner is another part of the fight against anxiety. You can say what you want, but if a partner cannot fulfill all your desires to the smallest detail, this does not mean that he is not suitable for you or does not love you. Appreciate the interests and personality of your partner.