Resentment is also a form of aggression. And this aggression is destructive not only for your relationship, but also for yourself.
In addition, resentment destroys communication between partners. Everything that was created by two people in the process of communication – trust, intimacy, understanding – is immediately cut in the bud. The offender in the eyes of the offended becomes a bad person. The offended person turns into a small child, whom the offender must save by changing or changing his behavior.
So why are we offended?
Ask yourself the following questions:
- What does resentment allow me to do?
- What does resentment allow me not to do?
- What does resentment allow me to receive from others?
Often, resentment makes it possible to shift responsibility to another, to achieve what you want, to manipulate a partner.
Does this sound like a healthy relationship? Obviously not.
Why Do We Choose Resentment As A Destructive Way To Communicate?
- as I mentioned above, this is shifting the responsibility for your needs and expectations
- your expectations of how a person should treat you
- the idea that you would never do that
- feeling of perfection
- rejection of another person’s freedom of choice
- unwillingness to understand the other person’s point of view
- unwillingness to make mistakes
Did you recognize yourself in the offended position? Then decide for yourself: “Should I continue in the same spirit? What result will I get for myself and our couple?”
If you are unable to work on this issue on your own, contact the experts.