As my inner voice tells me, after the publication of this article, readers will unite, find me and mercilessly execute me on charges of heresy. Today I will undermine traditional foundations, smash romance to smithereens and dance a crazy dance on the graves of the Puritans. So far, I myself do not know what will come of it, but I will try to answer the most burning question that torments the entire male half of humanity. So, let’s figure out what the female sex drive depends on and how to increase the libido of a life partner.
Finding a person with whom you will match in all respects is almost impossible. In most cases, roughness and unevenness remain. You have to adapt to them and look for compromise solutions. Now I will give you the structure of healthy relationships using the example of the cosmological theory of ancestors. Imagine that marriage is an earth disk, it is based on three elephants, and they, in turn, stand on a huge turtle.
The flat world of a perfect union
I’ll start with the basic ingredients of a harmonious marriage. The community of interests acts as a reptile. The myth that opposites attract is nothing more than a beautiful fairy tale. They try to justify a destructive relationship with a similar delusion, in which partners pull the strap in different directions and cannot find common ground. For example, she dreams of living in a penthouse on the 30th floor of a new building, and he – in a wooden house in the village, or another option – the union of a vegan girl and a meat-eating guy. As a result, even if the desire of one person is fulfilled, his other half remains unhappy and “breaks himself.”
The first elephant is mutual respect . To live 50 years in marriage without pretentious expressions of feelings and passion is quite real. As practice shows and Frederic Beigbeder says , love lives for three years, and I cannot deny such a logical statement. If the spouses have the same goals, but do not support the life partner, or, much worse, try to assert themselves by belittling their partner, then such a relationship is worthless. The second elephant is household compatibility . Each individual is able to come to terms with certain shortcomings of a loved one. Some women do not pay attention to socks scattered throughout the apartment, when for the rest it is unacceptable. Others live with alcoholic husbands, justifying themselves with phrases: “But the children have a father” or “And Vovka also beats Lyubka.” By the way, the aforementioned Lyubka suffers assault solely because of her panic fear of being left alone. These are of course examples of extreme cases, but you get the main message. As long as the power of motivation to keep the marriage outweighs the opposing vector of repulsive character traits, people will stay together. And, finally, what we have gathered for. Meet the third elephant – sex . I would venture to name individuals who prove that sexual intercourse in the presence of “true love” is not important, frigid, and I will be 99.99% right. Indeed, the number of intercourse is not fundamental, but to completely reject the intimate sphere for the sake of platonic feelings is at least silly. A little remark, I will deliberately omit situations in which one or both partners are sick and will talk about average couples.
Disney Princess complex
Unfortunately, girls are not being prepared for the bitter reality. Take, for example, fairy tales – everything in them is rosy to the point of disgrace. The princess meets the prince, falls in love, they get married and “live happily ever after.” Nobody says that after the wedding vows, the first wedding night takes place. It seems as if the heroes reproduce by budding.
Of course, until a certain age it is worth postponing the initiation of a child into the mystery of “pistils and stamens”, but delay is just as dangerous as haste. Psychologists recommend holding the first educational program regarding the topic of intimate relationships at the age of 9-10. Ask yourself what time your parents told you about sex. Or did you even find out about It from older friends?
The denial of the active sexuality of women is still prevalent in our culture. Treatises on cunnilingus have been written , there are techniques for stimulating the G-spot , tactics and strategies have been developed to bring partners to orgasm . But there is only one catch – a man should be the initiator of coitus. According to the unspoken rule of decency, a girl has no right to approach the guy she likes, but what am I trifling with, to her beloved and declare: “Baby, I want you right here and now! Take off your boxers and quickly go to bed. ” Oh, what are you, what are you! True ladies shouldn’t do that. We are obliged to sit in an impregnable tower and wait until the one and only one rides on a white horse, takes us away from the fire-breathing dragon and takes us to meet the crowned parents. Only then can you give the hero a timid kiss. Girls, in the real world it is absolutely impossible to think so. There are several options for the development of events with strict adherence to the moral standards of the Disney princess. First, you will die as an old lonely cat lady, and neighbors will accidentally discover you, smelling the unpleasant smell of a half-gnawed decaying body. The second – the prince will appear, but, tired of constantly striving for intimacy through knightly tournaments, he will begin to run away to more cheeky witches. I came across the third plot personally. My good friend has been in a stable relationship for 7 years. His wife was never distinguished by a fiery temperament, she with a gnash agreed to experiments in bed, being firmly convinced that the spiritual is higher than the bodily. Recently, the guy has been completely tough. He timidly confessed to me in a fit of revelation that he was tired of, like a maniac, persuading his wife to fulfill his marital duty and for two and a half months they did not touch each other. Conscience does not allow to go to the left, and the comrade cringes in his soul every morning . Answer honestly, is he happy? Men and women are different and that’s okay. Do not be afraid of discrepancies in the intimate sphere. 1 time a week may be enough for you, but talk to your partner, maybe he is feeling dissatisfied and hesitates to share his experiences. Synchronizing your temperaments is a feasible task.