Casual sex is not just a connection – it’s like you’re abroad. By the way, literally too. You have no boundaries, nothing binds you, does not remind you, they say, stop, you cross the line, he may think that you are loose. With sex with a stranger, you won’t cross the line. Because you don’t have it. There is probably only one place where we can be completely different. To the opposite, different. This place is bed. With one you will be constrained, shy and careful. In the morning, dressing, he will even mentally call you frigid or a log. You won’t know about it, of course, but that’s how it will be. And with the other, on the contrary, you can play the main role. Such a partner will not dress quickly, hastily confusing the buttons on the shirt. He doesn’t agree to part so quickly. Just one short night and that’s it? Are you kidding? No, dear, let’s go to the next act, continue this mind-blowing action until we have enough strength. And, it would seem, in either case you are, with both partners, you are the same. One and the same action, one and the same heroine – but the result is strikingly opposite. Why is that? It seems to me that in bed we are constrained by feelings. As strange as it sounds. Look, you are in love, and you have been in love for a long time and desperately. You like it, everything about it drives you crazy. You don’t want to disappoint him, you don’t want him to raise an eyebrow in surprise, they say, what was that? That is why you follow literally everything very carefully. Starting from clothes: you choose for a long time what to wear in order to simultaneously please, be sexy, but not vulgar either. You think what and when to say. You decide for a long time to call, hang over the answer to the message. You don’t want to disappoint him – that’s the reason. So, in ordinary life, what are you, don’t put your finger in your mouth, bite off with your sharp tongue. And then … As if changed. When you’re at this stage, and the first sex will be so-so. You just don’t know him (the man) to the end, in your head you, of course, managed to exalt him, lift him to heaven. Therefore, you do not know whether he will accept your earthly pleasures. What if it seems vulgar to him? What if he thinks that you are licentious? In general, everything is from feelings. After all, if you let yourself go and thought: damn it, this is Seryoga from the next doorway, why am I? If I thought so, everything would be much easier. And brighter. And cooler. And mutually orgasmic . But you are afraid of disappointing and losing him, so you play some ridiculous role.
For girls who do not dare to discuss sexual desires with their partner, a solution has been invented
Now imagine that he does not zip up in a hurry in the morning with the thought: some kind of frigid, log. He does not say goodbye, pityingly and briefly kissing your forehead at the door. And it stays with you forever. Well, okay, not for all the time, but for a long time. He makes you an offer, you agree, you take out a loan for an apartment, give birth to a daughter, expect a son. And you live for yourself. And everything seems to be fine, everything seems to be working out, and you seem to be happy. Only in bed you play all the same roles. Because they decided so long ago. One posture, one foreplay, one half-hint – not a step to the side. You will imitate more and more often, and more and more often he will be late at meetings with partners. And you will live with the thought that this is how it should be. And you will never recognize the other yourself, after having sex with whom they do not say goodbye in a hurry, but want to continue, go out on a new act again and again, until they have enough strength.
Psychologists and sexologists advise to always talk with a partner. Especially it is necessary to talk about sex, they assure us. But very often this all remains in theory. Because sex is as difficult to talk about as it is to promote your unexpected new desires in it. You may be afraid: what will he think if I suddenly offer him to have sex in the train toilet, and even declare that I want to try this position? What will he think of me, huh? Hell, we even die with this thought: now they will think that I am weak, I can not fight to continue living, right? In general, that’s great! For those girls who do not dare to discuss sex with their partner, a solution has been invented – a casual, non-binding relationship. Communication is solely for self-discovery. What?
Casual sex has a positive effect on health
I’m just going to speak out here for sex with a stranger. Just in case, let me remind you that this connection must be protected. Yes, I remember that we are all grown girls and we know about the existence of condoms. But you never know. It won’t make me worse if I say it again.
So, recent studies have shown that casual sex has a positive effect on our health: the level of stress is significantly reduced, after which there is an additional tone and self-confidence. The study was conducted by Zhana Vrangalova and published by Social Psychology and Personality Science . That is, it is worth believing. But the main thing in casual sex is not even health, but, probably, that’s what. With a stranger, you will cease to play some once invented role. You will forget what he thinks of you. Because you will know that tomorrow morning you will part and nothing else will bind you. Finally, you will be liberated and you will try what you and your husband could not dare to do. This may not be the case, of course. But the probability is very high. In the end, you have nothing to lose. We are all very insecure. Especially when it comes to sex. Sometimes we are liberated when surrounded by strangers. Think, for example, of your exploits abroad. When you find yourself in a foreign country, where everyone around you speaks a language unfamiliar to you, it is as if you become different. Well, remember. You do not hesitate to come up and ask a question, you cannot be stopped on the dance floor, you can flirt uncontrollably and even have short-term romances. It’s like you’re becoming different. Casual sex has the same effect. It’s not just a connection – it’s like you’re abroad. By the way, literally too. You have no boundaries, nothing binds you, does not remind you, they say, stop, you cross the line, he may think that you are loose. With sex with a stranger, you won’t cross the line. Because you don’t have it. By the way, after having casual sex with a stranger, you can get bolder in bed with your husband. You will simply understand what you are capable of, as if you will see a new yourself. I do not urge everyone to suddenly dive headlong into adultery and recklessly enter into promiscuous relationships. I just tried to flip the medal and look at the other side of it. Sometimes you don’t need to be so zealous about what is not clear. It is sometimes helpful to let go of yourself.