As numerous opinion polls show, the first sex is rarely a good start. And this is due to various reasons.
So, a virgin guy is neither technically nor physically able to satisfy his beloved, which undoubtedly upsets him and makes him doubt himself. For young, inexperienced girls, deprivation of innocence is the greatest stress. The aggregate of fear of pain, uncertainty until the last moment, disappointment from impartial aspects (the kind of blood and strange sensations) falls on the damsels in a single stream. In short, everything is far from what is portrayed in romantic films.
Whatever the relationship with their parents, adolescents do not seek to discuss such intimate areas with them. They prefer to ask for advice from “advanced” friends or look for answers on forums and sites. Even at an older age, some cannot have a heart-to-heart talk with their “ancestors”. Unfortunately, the Internet is not a reliable source of knowledge and skills, as well as comments from peers.
First of all, this article is intended for the discoverers of the planet called Sex. However, parents will also make a lot of useful recommendations from it, which they can unobtrusively give to their precious children. Perhaps, if this information had caught their eye a little earlier, they would have avoided annoying mistakes. To begin with, I want to clarify the most common aspects of a common character for both sexes. The maximum number of delusions is concentrated around them, enveloping the mystery of the first intimacy in a haze.
Little Big Sex Theory
1. Tender age
The question of the optimal age for the loss of innocence has occupied the minds from time immemorial. In some countries, girls marry at the age of 9 and immediately share a bed with newly-married spouses, in others young people reach the age of majority we are accustomed to, but continue to keep a magic flower for their only partner, and in others, they have sex since puberty and are in no hurry enter into official relations. This is a matter of cultural and social trends. Based on biological characteristics, I would call the period of full completion of puberty the ideal age. For different ethnic groups, it ranges from 12 to 15 years old (girls) and 15 to 18 years old (boys). The categorical rule says: “The body must get stronger and form.” So that the first time does not turn into a psychological trauma, it is necessary to pay attention to the education of correct moral attitudes long before the hour of X.
2. Legitimate business
For clarity, we will reduce the scale of our research from planetary to national. In the CIS countries, the age of consent is 16 years old. This should be borne in mind, because if your partner is older, then your parents or guardians have the right to accuse him of corrupting minors even without your consent. Love is love, and the Criminal Code must be respected.
3. Oh, what will happen ?!
In general terms, the process is as follows. At some point, boys and girls have an increased interest in the opposite sex. Who would not prove that to you, but technically sex is possible without romance and high feelings. For example, prostitutes do not fall in love with their clients, and many couples have long ceased to love each other. However, normally, at least mutual sympathy should arise.
In the first stage, partners are aroused through kissing, stroking and touching. The girl begins to release a natural lubricant that moisturizes the genitals. This mechanism is provided by nature to facilitate penetration. Guys have an erection – the penis increases in size, hardens and rises. Unfortunately or fortunately, an erection is a prerequisite for intimacy.
So, both lovers are excited enough and can move on to decisive action. The couple chooses a position, the man inserts the penis into the woman’s vagina. Then he makes frictions (alternates the introduction and withdrawal of the penis). After a certain time, partners reach orgasm (a very strong and incredible peak state). For a guy, the climax is accompanied by ejaculation, while for a girl it is less obvious. To understand the physiological process in more detail, I recommend watching a few videos of a pornographic nature, but do not take the video seriously, because in the prevailing number of cases it is staged shooting.
4. In what position to pick a rose?
It is difficult to offer a specific option, and there is no single-valued solution suitable for everyone without exception. Choose simple positions in which the girl’s hips are slightly elevated: missionary position with a pillow under the lower back, doggy style, or on a table with raised legs. Comfort should prevail over your desire to bring every illustration of the Kama Sutra to life.
5. A painful question
Everyone has their own threshold of pain, some girls experience hellish torment, while others do not feel any discomfort. It depends on the general condition of the body, the amount of lubricant released, the level of arousal and psychological factors. However, the more you worry, the more difficult it will be for you – the muscles instinctively contract, hindering the advancement of the male genital organ. Trust in Mother Nature’s favor. One way or another, you have to go through this unpleasant stage.
6. Bloody Sunday
A thin membrane called the hymen covers the opening of the vagina. When the penis is inserted for the first time, the septum is damaged and a small amount of blood is released. The standard volume has not been identified, although similar studies have been carried out several times. Ranges of values range from a few drops to a dozen grams, which can ruin the sheets. If the hymen has increased elasticity or a small number of vessels, then there may be no blood at all. This does not mean that something is wrong with the girl and that the villainous fate deprived her of her virginity or a lustful spirit appeared to her at night.
7. Repetition is the mother of learning
You need to really assess your own condition. When the first experience was painful, you should not rush, let the wounds heal for five days, and then practice without a twinge of conscience. Well, if the process went off without a hitch, then if you wish, do not wait and repeat the same evening.
There are many sex toys for beginners, which will not only give an orgasm, but also help to know your body, learning how to achieve pleasure with a guy. It is better not to use penetrating toys with a whole hymen, because losing your virginity with a soulless vibrator is not a girls’ dream, right? But you can use devices that stimulate the clitoris.
8. Briefly about the main thing
Read these lines, reread and memorize them. It will be about pregnancy, methods of protection and the likelihood of contracting sexually transmitted diseases. Your previous experience does not affect fertility. As soon as a girl starts her period, theoretically she can get pregnant. A beautiful legend of the townsfolk that for the first time “nothing will happen” is pure myth. Do you want to have offspring? – Protect yourself with traditional contraceptives. Forget about douching with Coca-Cola, washing with soap, interrupted intercourse and other questionable methods. Use condoms in the early stages, and then consult with your gynecologist about the best method for you. Rubber bands will save both partners from unpleasant infections, they are available and have no contraindications.
9. It all happened so quickly
We are all human, we are all human. Even adults occasionally have unprotected sex. In this case, the main thing is not to panic and go to the pharmacy. Emergency contraception will come to the aid of unlucky lovers. Take the pill within 72 hours of the annoying oversight and calm your nerves. However, you should not rely on the farm wholeheartedly, its reception is fraught with serious side effects. Don’t ruin your health!
10. Point O
Girlish orgasm during defloration is an exception rather than a trend. To get pleasure, you need to wait a few months, it is better to spend a couple of lonely evenings exploring your body. Masturbate, determine which touch you like and which you don’t. For guys, everything is easier, if ejaculation has occurred, then there was an orgasm.
Tips for girls
We’ll arrange a bachelorette party and chat about the innermost. To be honest, my first time was the most shameful experience of my life. Do not think, I do not regret anything, but now, when analyzing what happened, it comes to the understanding that absolutely everything did not go according to plan. An epic failure, nothing more, nothing less. I can highlight the following set of tips to keep you from repeating my mistakes:
1. Sloley, babe
Haste is needed only when catching fleas, in other cases it is worth slowing down a little before making important decisions. Understand the true reasons that lead you to say goodbye to innocence. Girlfriends authority and boyfriend pressure shouldn’t be motivating factors. Doubts will always be, look into the soul and you will understand whether you want intimacy or not.
2. Stop the drug!
Alcohol and psychotropic substances are not the best travel companions for the adult world. I will not argue, they relax and relieve complexes, but put aside a bottle of wine for a romantic dinner with which you will celebrate the first sexual intercourse.
3. Learn, learn and more …
A quality education is necessary not only for entering a university and building a career. Read the literature on this topic, expand your knowledge base. Take some online tests to help determine your individual preparedness level, but answer the questions with the utmost honesty. Pay particular attention to contraceptive methods and detailed descriptions of early pregnancy symptoms. For reliability, study the articles with your boyfriend.
4. Fairy tales for children
But you should refrain from watching romantic teenage films. They form a misconception about the first sexual experience. The process won’t necessarily be 100% bad, but don’t expect bright stars and fireworks of emotion. In fact, the setting and replicas of the main characters are much more prosaic, remember, fairy tales are intended for little kids.
5. Trust but verify
Look for information exclusively on reliable, preferably medical, portals. On the forums, they will tell you so many nonsense and contradictory facts that they will confuse you in the end. Users of social networks are not responsible for their words, and it is not clear who breaks down on the other side of the monitor. It is likely that a 10-year-old schoolboy is talking to you after watching porn in the absence of his parents.
6. Step harm, two steps back
Agree with your partner in advance that you have the right to terminate at any time. No matter how experienced he is, you should be at the helm in this non-trivial mission. And do not hesitate, speak directly when you are uncomfortable, unpleasant, and painful. Voice your concerns. Understand, a guy, no matter how awesome he is, can’t read minds unless you’re a comic book character.
7. Vanilla has not been canceled
The initiation process is overestimated, but nothing prevents you from receiving, albeit not physical, so aesthetic and moral satisfaction. If your boyfriend doesn’t figure it out himself, then describe to him your understanding of the romantic setting. Choose a quiet and secluded place, it will be very offensive when, at the most important moment, his mother appears on the doorstep with an offer to eat. Allocate at least 2-3 hours. The act of defloration itself will take about half an hour with foreplay, but the time spent together will have a positive psychological effect.
8. Must have
Do not rely entirely on your boyfriend; it is better to have two packs of condoms than one. Artificial lubricants with lidocaine are sold in pharmacies and sex shops. They will help dull the pain, although the pleasant sensations from stimulation will also be less pronounced. Stock up on disposable towels and wet wipes to clean up the crime scene. It is preferable to have all of the above items at hand. Usually, the first sex does not happen spontaneously, but is carefully planned, so you do not have to carry a disturbing suitcase with you all the time.
Tips for guys
For children, the transformation from a boy to a husband is the most important stage in life. The realization of the fact that all friends have already tasted the forbidden fruit, but they have not, hurts self-esteem. In modern society, being a virgin is shameful. I dare to assure you – guys also cannot avoid stress and disappointment. Friends, your main goal is not to fall face down in the dirt and behave with dignity in bed with a woman.
1. Today without prostitutes
The first time, and the next, do not waste your energy and money on the priestesses of love. First, there is a great chance to acquire an impressive venereal bouquet. Secondly, you will be disgusted that you had to pay for the girl to “give”. Thirdly, the impressions of the night, even with the most skillful confused woman, cannot be compared with the intimacy with her beloved.
2. Confidence is not synonymous with overconfidence
Nothing is more annoying than showy bravado. This, in the company of peers, you can boast of fictitious exploits on the intimate front and they will not tell you anything, because which of your friends is without sin. Don’t tell your partner stories about how you have loved others over and over again. Unlike her comrades, she will understand falsehood and will not appreciate empty chatter.
Confidence is not synonymous with overconfidence
3. Writing the script
As a rule, men are expected to act actively, indecision and obvious confusion betray a lack of experience. Not sure which side to approach the girl from? – Type in the search tag “Porn with foreplay” and shake your head. Scroll through various options in your head, but keep in mind that reality is in dissonance with hot dreams. At the same time, you should not bother – let the events take their course, your body will perfectly figure out what’s what.
4. You are not in the circus
Juggling poses and performing tricks is a beginner’s greatest mistake. The desire to satisfy a partner is certainly commendable, but variety sometimes hurts. If she is not doing yoga, she is unlikely to enjoy intricate poses. Ask your partner exactly how she loves. Is she a virgin too? – Well, great, put off the experiments for later and give preference to the classics.
5. Diet and restrictions
A plentiful dinner will make you sleepy and weak, and this evening you will need remarkable endurance. There is an ancient legend, they say, alcohol will help you last longer and relieve you of stiffness. On the other hand, ethyl alcohol causes erection problems. The penis will either not rise at all, or it will not be firm enough.
6. Masculinity = Responsibility
Being a young father isn’t all that great. Do not tempt fate and use contraceptives. For obvious reasons, you do not control your body and will not have time to remove the penis at the time of ejaculation. Again, interrupted intercourse does not provide 100% protection against unplanned pregnancy.
7. Rate of fire is not a vice
Cumming too quickly is every guy’s nightmare. Probably, I will upset you, but the Earth will not stop turning around its axis if the shot occurs after a couple of frictions. On my own I can give several effective recipes. The first is to distort the shutter 6-8 hours before intercourse. The second is to use a thick-walled condom. The third is to purchase a lubricant with menthol or lidocaine.
8. For frankness will be rewarded
To admit to a girl that you have never had anyone before is not a bit ashamed. An experienced partner will step into the position and help you with the equanimity and pride of the ancient Greek goddess of wisdom. A virgin will be happy to enter adulthood hand in hand with a companion in spirit, she is familiar with all your fears, experiences and she will not think to laugh.
9. Not all secrets should be revealed
After comprehending the delights of sex, you do not need to send SMS to all contacts in your address book and trumpet at every crossroads of the district about your feat. Don’t worry, he won’t be forgotten. The girl certainly will not be delighted to learn that the details of your intimacy with her have become the talk of the town.
Well, that’s all, our conversation about the first sex has come to an end. Perhaps the renowned family psychologists will stigmatize me, but I think that talking to parents about the desire to lose virginity is certainly not worth it, just like sharing your impressions. Whether to inform them of an already accomplished fact is up to you, but sooner or later the truth will come to the surface.