Children who were not loved in childhood become the most demanding
partners. As a result, the relationship falls into a trap in which both suffer.
The lack of parental love remains with a person forever, and then he carries this trauma into his adult life and relationships. He is looking for an “ideal parent” in a partner who will always love, never leave, forgive whims.
Squeezing another into the role assigned to him, we forget what a partner really is, what are his character traits, desires and needs. Often the partner does not match the image of the parent and reacts in the wrong way: he gets angry in response to whims, reacts negatively to excessive emotions. And then there are quarrels and mutual alienation.
4 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Play Your Partner as a Parent:
1. Partner Tyranny
abusers feel most comfortable in such relationships : when they have a
partner in front of them who is ready to do anything for love and attention, it
is very easy to manipulate and manage such relationships.
2. Codependent Relationships
In such relationships, there is no place for healthy boundaries, and, as
a rule, they act destructively on both partners, they can be called codependent
3. A Partner Takes a Heavy Load
Playing a role according to someone else’s scenario and being
responsible for meeting the emotional needs of a partner is too heavy a burden.
And it is quite natural that a person will not be ready to “drag” her on
4. Loss of Independence
When a person has lost the habit of satisfying his emotional needs on
his own, in the absence of a partner he is absolutely helpless. But no one can
be with us all the time: the partner may not be in the mood, go to another, get
sick or even die. And, alas, no one is immune from this.
How to cope with the desire to look for a partner-parent? Just work through your childhood trauma with a specialist.