How to behave adults with teenage masturbation? How to talk about this with a child? Answers to difficult questions that all parents face.
People begin to masturbate at a young age, boys and girls discover their sexuality from 11 to 14 years. And just at this time they study their body, learn to experience the first orgasms. Parents can find out about this. How do they behave?
Teen Masturbation – Good or Bad
Masturbation is a natural process that occurs in nature. Self-gratification is not bad. They do not lead to disease , does not reduce libido, and does not impair mental ability. Doctors have proven that this is a safe process. This is a way of knowing your body, your sensitivity. But masturbation is not customary to talk about in society, it is not shown to others. And it is important to explain to the child what is permissible to do and talk about in the team and what is not.
The right approach
If a child develops a negative attitude towards masturbation, it can negatively affect his life. The phrases “this is dirty”, “this is shameful” – form a negative attitude towards sexuality, and this leads to problems in sex. The prohibitions form shame, guilt, embarrassment, and all this then in adulthood has to be cleaned for years in a psychologist’s office.
Parents do not always understand what and how to tell the child. Sometimes even a vocabulary is not enough to discuss such topics. Therefore, there are prohibitions and condemnations. Not because of the process itself, but because of the stiffness of adults. But this is a big mistake. The child needs to be explained that touching the genitals is normal. But this can only be done in private, and not in a public place. Demonstrate these touches is not worth others.
What can not be done
All children and teenagers study their bodies. And if suddenly the child was caught masturbating or just touching the intimate areas, it is important not to make the following mistakes:
- Shout. Settle scandals and tantrums due to the fact that he violates the “generally accepted standards.” Such a reaction will scare the little man, but at the same time he will still interact with the body, but in secret.
- Condemn. Talking about the wrong actions is not worth it. It is important to justify why such behavior does not need to be demonstrated. But do not be ashamed, do not demand any behavior without justifying it.
- Bully. Tales of hairy hands are dangerous to the psyche. And most importantly – this is a lie that prevents a person in the future. It is important for an adult to independently understand what is possible and what is not, and not to repeat what grandmother once claimed.
- Beat. Physical exposure is unacceptable. You can not punish a child for interest in his own body.
Many parents use prohibited methods, as their parents did just that. But this is a false path that modern psychologists do not approve of.
How to behave with a teenager
If it became clear that the child is masturbating, you need to talk with him. Do not be scared, cry or get angry. After all, the reaction is read not only at the level of words, but also by behavior. Therefore, it is important to hide your surprise and other emotions. And to conduct a dialogue in a steady state.
The child must understand that almost all people masturbate. This is not a pathology, this is normal . But someone should not show this process. The conversation should not be about the process of masturbation, it is not necessary to teach or give advice. He or she will figure it out for themselves. It is necessary to talk about the safety rules in society . Safety, privacy – these are the main principles of masturbation for a teenager. And he should learn about this from his parent, and not from a friend in the yard. Proper formation of attitudes towards masturbation will help to avoid many fears in the future during pair sex. This will save from the emergence of many complexes. Therefore, parents must respond correctly without using aggression or bullying. And think about it, because more than 70% of adults masturbate! And this does not interfere with being happy, healthy and cheerful.