Sex with a new partner: 24 tips for how not to screw up

Love to the grave is an exception rather than a general trend. People meet, live together for long years, but a single conflict can destroy the “strong cell of society.” Finally, the former remains a cart and a small cart of mutual grievances, as well as half of the jointly acquired belongings. Both are always to blame for the breakup, but today we will not be talking about that.

A rehabilitation period takes place, during which the hatred of the opposite sex gradually fades away. The girl crawls out of the cocoon of a plaid blanket, puts aside a bucket of pistachio ice cream and turns off her favorite TV show. She goes to the mirror, quickly evaluates her own appearance, decides to change her hairstyle and dye her hair in a different color. During the day spent in the beauty salon, the caterpillar again turns into a beautiful butterfly.

And now on the horizon looms a subtle spark of a new relationship. Our heroine recklessly flies into the alluring light of yet another love. A nice guy, kind of cute and witty, showed interest in her. Hormones hit the head with a cork from champagne and the ice that holds the girl’s heart slowly melts. Business is approaching the first night in the hot arms of a new boyfriend.

At this moment, panic sets in, because you want this sex to be perfect. Countless questions arise: how to behave, what to wear, what to touch and what not, and so on and so forth. I will try to clarify the situation and help minimize the amount of annoying misunderstandings.

1. Are you ready?

This is the most important question that you must answer on your own, discarding absolutely all emotions and soberly assessing the big picture. Many girls, especially if the initiator of the breakup was their soul mate, in an attempt to prove their own worth to themselves and those around them, they are trying to find a new partner faster. Throwing yourself out of the fire and into the fire is not an option. Today it is not a problem to go to a club and get acquainted with a staff who wants to spend time without obligations, but such a step will not increase self-esteem. Better to be alone than with just anyone.

2. Lowering the bar of expectations

I will say right away that it will not be perfect! And accept this as an indisputable fact. You don’t need to watch dozens of romantic films and try to recreate scenes of an erotic nature in everyday life. Castles in the air cannot withstand the harsh reality. Remember that your new chosen one is a living person, not a character from a fictional world. The only option when it will fully meet your high expectations is the one in which you write a script, send him replies by e-mail and rehearse the dialogues several times via Skype. Do not make a problem out of the first sex, bother less, let fate itself dot the i’s.

3. We select clothes

As practice shows, men rarely look at clothes, moreover, after intimacy, they may not remember the color of their partner’s underwear. However, this does not mean that you should not give a damn about your choice of wardrobe. Be guided depending on the specific conditions. Let’s say he invited you to a restaurant – wear an exquisite evening dress, not burdened with unnecessary decor and ingenious fasteners (to make it easier to take off). Will sex happen at a guy’s house while watching movies on a laptop? – Then there is no point in oversizing, opt for comfortable jeans or leggings and a cute sweatshirt . You will look appropriate and tidy. Pay a little more attention to your underwear. Leave corsets, negligees, and other tinsel until another time. I conjure you with all existing gods, forget about sports bras and grandmother’s pantaloons, it is better for them to lie in the closet. A neat bra and matching panties are the best solution. It is extremely important to choose the correct size of the laundry. Otherwise, your figure will either become like a ham tied with twine, or the charms will dangle like a spoon in a glass.

4. Hygiene is the key to success

I hope I don’t need to explain the need to go through the daily ablution ceremony. In the modern world, rare men put up with hair in the bikini area and other inappropriate places, so play it safe and depilate your intimate areas and armpits in advance. In one word – remove excess vegetation from the body. If you have sensitive skin, shaving just before a date can be irritating, so keep that in mind. Do not overdo it with perfume, the foreign scent will overpower your body odor, which contains a powerful charge of pheromones. It is quite enough to apply a few drops on the wrist and behind the ears.

5. Discussing the details

This point must be carried out at the stage of flirting. Try to subtly figure out your partner’s preferences and communicate your understanding of acceptable and unacceptable manipulation. I recommend having virtual sex. This is a great way to tell each other about secret desires and the exact location of erogenous zones. Unlike the color of the underwear, the newly-minted lover will definitely not forget your hot messages, in the manner of: “I love it when they kiss my earlobe” or “I want you to take my nipple in your mouth and bite it lightly.” As soon as he gets a chance, he will certainly take advantage of the prompts. But you also keep your nose to the wind, shake the statements of your chosen one on your mustache.

6. Know the rate

I agree with the statement that a drunken woman is not a mistress of a genital . Excess ethyl alcohol relaxes to a coma. It’s easiest to screw up and make a negative impression under the fly. Here are some illustrative examples. One of my acquaintances drank a lot and fell asleep under a partner in the midst of the process, painfully hurting his pride. I would not be surprised to learn that he burst into tears at all, the current situation is so humiliating. The second lady vomited under the influence of rolling from frictions . It is necessary to show a rich inner world, but not literally ejaculate it on the body of a lover! And what about the feeling of guilt that comes with a hangover, after a blue night in the company of an unfamiliar man?

7. Calm, only calm

Although the act of defloration is far behind, every first time with a new partner causes a similar storm of emotions. It is problematic to deal with women’s complexes, let’s leave the digging in the brains of certified psychologists. Breathe in and breathe out, even if absolutely everything does not go according to plan and sex can be added to the list of “Worst experience of my life”, then this is not a reason to bang your head against the wall. Believe in the positive and your hopes will come true. Let’s think, it is likely that the chosen one is just as nervous, and higher demands are made on him. You can lie down with a dry stone, but without an erection, coitus is impossible. Why, one wonders, are two alarmists in bed?

8. Take your time!

At the beginning of the article, we agreed that we would strive to bring sex as close as possible to the unattainable mark of “ideal”. For some, violent ripping off of clothes and intercourse in a hurry will be the limit of erotic fantasies. However, passionate impulses last 5-6 minutes. In such a short period of time, it is possible to achieve orgasm, but it is impossible to get unique memories. Hold your horses and love your partner slowly.

9. A little romance

It is preferable to choose a territory familiar to you as a place of deployment. It’s hard to relax and tune in at a party. Never extinguish the light completely, it is vital for your partner to see your naked body. If you are ashamed of physical defects (who among us are without cellulite), light candles or a night light. We have already written that beautiful ladies exaggerate the significance of some moments . Men do not care about such trifles as folds on the stomach or “insufficient” breast size. I advise you to play light music such as jazz or blues. The languid melodies relieve tension and help deal with anxiety. Note that the goal of seduction is not considered, romance is needed only for the background. 

10. Add eroticism

To undress beautifully is akin to art. Practice at home in front of the mirror to pull off jeans or a dress, unbutton your bra with a slight movement of your hand. Of course, getting stuck in your clothes is not shameful and this is not the worst thing that can happen. Minor absurdities add fun to the preparation for intimacy, but they irreparably depress the intimate mood. A reasonable question arises, is it necessary to dance a striptease? It all depends on your talents and the degree of trust in your new partner. Indecisive and awkward girls should not try on the image of Mata Hari, the result will be far from perfect. Another common mistake is modest nudity in the bathroom without the involvement of a lover. Remember, liberation from the shackles of clothing is an essential element of erotic play.

11. More foreplay

The best start is a gentle and sensual massage. At first, refrain from actively stimulating the erogenous zones, as much as you would like it. Tease your partner, drive him to a frenzy. Gentle strokes will relieve muscle tension, disperse blood, and prepare bodies for more cheeky action. Use special oils with energizing aromas ( ylan ylang , tea rose, nutmeg, sandalwood, patchouli, jasmine). For some reason, many couples underestimate the force of impact on the legs and focus only on the upper part of the body. For tens of centuries, Chinese acupuncturists have been repeating about the high concentration of nerve endings on the feet. Benefit from the knowledge of oriental sages.

12. Kiss everything you see and don’t see

It’s time to show how much you are in love. Cover every inch of the body of the chosen one with burning kisses. I will draw you an approximate route map. Run your tongue over the auricle, take a lobe in your mouth and suck on it for a minute, lightly walk over the lower jaw, stick your lips into your partner’s lips. Switch to the neck, persistently move lower. Pay attention to your breasts, each nipple, abdomen, inner thighs, pubis, and only at the very end, touch your penis.

13. Letting go of our hands

Connect this item to the previous one. Feel free to iron and touch your lover. Lightly press your nails against the base of your knee and scrape paths up your inner thigh. Your man’s testicles will reflexively rise (this is an indication of extreme arousal). Apply the same technique from the wrist to the elbow, lower abdomen, and pubic bone. If your partner is very ticklish, then replace the nails with fingertips.

14. Basics of navigation

And then, finally, it came to the target stage, the guy introduced his penis and makes timid frictions . Be sure to react to his manipulations, do not lie on a log. Men haven’t learned to read minds yet, so take control. More daring and not notorious ladies directly say how and with what force to insert, commenting on the actions of a partner. Girls a little more modestly prefer to vary the ahi-ohi and swing their hips in moments of successful stimulation. Choose the tactics at your discretion.

15. Look in the eyes

Whoever said that, but sex in positions that provide for eye contact is much more soulful than hard fucking in dog-style. When lovers find themselves face to face, an electrical impulse runs between them. I especially want to highlight the sitting poses, for example, a guy settles down comfortably on the couch, leaning back, and the girl saddles him. First, the hands are given unlimited freedom. Secondly, you can kiss without hindrance. Thirdly, the partner controls the angle of introduction, the speed of the frictions and the force of pressure.

16. Shame cannot be avoided

Funny moments happen, especially if the lovers are not yet used to each other. The lips do not reach their intended goal the first time, from the touch of cold fingers, the partner’s body may twitch and he will not deliberately bump his elbow into your side. With a sharp introduction of the penis, air from the vagina bursts out with an unpleasant sound. It is likely that the guy will finish with lightning speed and begin to bashfully hide his eyes. Prepare in advance for surprises and come to terms with the idea that shame cannot be avoided. However, the consequences of negative moments entirely depend on your attitude towards them.

17. No acrobatics

Haven’t you had anyone for a long time? – This is not a reason to shake the old days and remember all the million poses from the textbooks of love. The feverish change of position does not allow you to concentrate on getting pleasure. Limit yourself to two or three variations in which you are guaranteed to reach orgasm. You will still have time to show off your skills and show the results of regular stretching sessions . Acrobatic pirouettes performed during the first intimacy will scare the hell out of a partner. Something like this will creep into his head: “If she does something like that on the fly, then what will happen next ?!” Then you will see the glittering heels of a frustrated lover on the horizon.

18. Be careful with experimenters

This is not so much a recommendation for perfect intimacy as a warning. Life has taught me to be careful about ardent lovers of experiments in bed. Look closely at your partner who insists on unconventional types of sex from the first days of acquaintance . You may have come across one of the following individuals. The first option – the guy is inexperienced and notorious, and he learned about sexual intercourse from porn. The second clinical case – a friend is trying to realize his fantasies at your expense and treats you like a piece of fresh pork tenderloin. And the worst thing is that he has mental disabilities and he is not able to get pleasure in other ways. Of course, for some ladies, and blowjob is something out of the ordinary, but I take really strange things that threaten life and health. Think about the prospects of the relationship, if the chosen one begins to choke you at the moment of ejaculation, or if he pulls out a huge whip and offers to whip you well.   

19. A few words about contraception

According to an unspoken tradition, it is accepted that a man must take care of the availability of personal protective equipment. I’ll tell you, hope for the guy, but don’t make a mistake yourself. It is very disappointing when the prelude came to its logical conclusion, but there was no elastic band. Unprotected sex is fraught with lush venereal bouquets. If you are not one of the people who require a certificate from a dermatovenerologic dispensary from new lovers, then carry a package of condoms with you.

20. Do not compare

Let’s put aside the assumption that you invented the cloning machine, introduced the genetic material of your ex to create an exact copy of your usual lover. You met another guy in a standard way, for example, met on the subway. People differ not only in their fingerprints. Let’s talk specifically about the genitals. Penises come in many different shapes and sizes vary over a wide range of values. The trunk can be as smooth as a PVC vibrator, or it can be covered with a dense network of swollen veins. The shade palette is also difficult to grasp. The color changes from pale pink to deep purple even among representatives of the Caucasian race. The height of indecency is to compare the assembly of a newly-made lover with the reproductive organs of former partners.

21. You are not in the theater

The ethical aspects of simulation in intimate relationships are my favorite topic. Let’s face it, all of us at least once acted out a play called “I had an amazing orgasm.” However, in the first proximity, I strongly advise you to hide your dramatic talent deeper. Moan, scream, groan and gasp, but don’t feign a climax. You will not seem frigid to the chosen one, if you do not experience the subspace and show him the dying convulsions of a fish thrown ashore. But the risk of being misunderstood is quite high. The boy will think that everything went great and will repeat the same mistakes.

22. Briefly about the main thing

What is your chance of reaching orgasm? – 40-60% no more. These are statistics and nothing personal. Partners who have been in a relationship for a single year, who have studied the bodies of their second halves far and wide, and they do not get relaxation every time. The apogee of love and the all-consuming fire of desire plays in favor of a new relationship. Inexperience and unnecessary worries are the countermeasures. Do not be upset that you did not reach the peak, practice and everything will certainly work out.

23. For God’s sake, don’t cry

This is the sin of overly emotional young ladies. Tears after sex, both good and bad, negatively affect the overall experience. Bite your lip and give free rein to your feelings only when your lover leaves or turns to the wall and regularly pods. Guys react inadequately to crying, they get lost, like small children whom their mother left alone in line at the store.

24. Aftertaste

Do you want to emphasize the importance of what happened? – Show gentleness on this special evening. Hug your partner, say a few sweet words, kiss him. Outwardly, the men are dressed in impenetrable steel armor, but inside they are fluffy seals. Ideal is to spend the night together, sleep off some crazy exercise, and have breakfast the next morning.

I do not pretend to be indisputable in the recommendations given in the article. There are no hard and fast rules in love. Follow the dictates of your heart, and then your first sex with your new chosen one will be amazing.

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